Towkarn's ramblings

So... Had a very interesting dream last night/this morning. It seemed to be something between an MMORPG and... um... a LARP? I dunno, it was odd. I think it was some sort of virtual reality MMORPG; which just goes to show how much of a geek I am, that I'm dreaming of such things.

Anyway, in this game the players could travel to different worlds or realities or something. Kind of like The World, from .hack//Sign (and the rest of those series). So, really, this virtual reality game that my subconscious decided to invent was something like .hack, something like Sliders. Apparently character creation took you through your character's childhood, in a Fallout 3-esque fashion (though not right from birth, 'cause that's gross and involves vagina), and I started the "game" exploring some kind of faerie forest with my little friend Jimmy.

Then Jimmy got abducted by some crazy patchwork man!!! And my character chased after them as fast as he could, crying and reaching for Jimmy's hand, and the man disappeared with Jimmy, and my little character fell to his knees crying and screamed "JIMMY! NOOOOO!!!"

So, later when my character was all growed up and had become a Traveller(tm?) and changed his name (to Towkarn) for the sake of anonymity, he was earning some cash with a band of mercs when they happened to bust into a mad scientist's lab, just as the mad scientist in question was putting the finishing touches on his latest homunculus - which just so happened to have little Jimmy's brain in it!!! Cue another "JIMMY! NOOOOOO!!!!" moment, as the mad scientists' other minions managed to steal Jimmy away from us (apparently the mission we were on was to liberate brains from the mad scientist), though the mad scientist himself ended up in our custody.

Later (again) as Towkarn is talking to his Travelling(tm?) partner, Pamzilla, he describes to her the events at the mad scientist's lab. He then reveals he has tracked down Jimmy's current location: a slave auction in a dimension/world/reality that is ruled, not by nation's governments, but by social superpowers (these included the old-school-mafia, feminist-mafia, bikies, and magical-nudist-hippies). Pamzilla stops Towkarn mid-sentence and says "May I?", to which Towkarn nods and says "Go ahead."

Pamzilla drops to her knees, shakes her fists at the skies and shouts "JIMMY! NOOOOO!!!!" - at which point, the two of us broke out of character and laughed ourselves sick - before getting all geared up to go take on the mafias, the bikies and the nudist-hippies to save little Jimmy.

And then I woke up because someone sent me an SMS :P

I don't think I'll be doing Triptychs again. This year's were a bit much for me, especially since we had the hard ones for our first two sessions of the entire con. First game involved me being IC angry and yelling Alice a lot, which I don't like doing (yelling at people in general, but more specifically at Alice), and by trying to do the right thing (by ANYONE, because everyone was so hard to please in that game! D: ) I voided our own existences because I changed our family trees...
Then in the next game we ended up with the world overrun by Nazis and then Soviets because one of us didn't realise they could detonate at will and we ran out of time...
And then followed that up with Random's game, London Girls, which was almost as excruciating due to the fact it followed the two evil games that killed us...

After that, though, we started having much more fun with everything.
The Erebus Incident was brilliant and even those moments where everything was exploding and we were at Death's door it was GREAT!
Victim Squad started out slow, but we really got into it as soon as we were out of the facility, and much fun (and Maccas) was had by all!
Sympathetic Magic gave me awesome new ideas about the nature of magic and gave me some great roleplaying ideas as well. The only way that game could've been better was if I personally knew more about the public service.
A Tangled Web We Weave was absolutely hilarious! By the end of it, had I not died, I would've continued on as a FBI-Agent-turned-Shub-Niggurath-cultist (all because of brain-washing rats!) AND a cannibal! But I was beaten unconscious and stabbed to death by own sister. Man, she's gonna need therapy...
Vengeance of the Vampire Lord was the only Triptych I liked. Also we got the softcore porn version, so much fun was had by all. My character got molested SO MUCH! And I turned the end boss guy into a whiny emo who complained (instead of gloating) his evil plans at us. :P
Positions Vacant was awesome and hilarious. My character got outwitted by a pimply 14-year-old, saved a puppy from evil children, then saved the puppy from a deranged old lady, got violated by a female truck driver, had to pretend to be part of a traveling male strip show, blew up a church (ACCIDENTALLY!), and learnt he had super powers. And the one time he did get hurt he almost cried because he'd forgotten how much pain hurts (his power was forcefields, which he'd been using unconsciously to protect himself for years).


Also, this was the first pheno where one of my characters didn't (seriously) end up crying. o.O

( Stuff. )

When I laugh instead of looking as miserable as I feel at the appropriate moments (e.g. when talking about the guy whose heart I just broke), chances are there's something wrong.
When all my friends blow me off to go do other things, automatically assuming I don't want to be with them and not even asking if I had plans or something, I feel horribly dejected.
When I can't remember the slightest details because something has me constantly distracted, you can safely bet that I'm either about to freak out or I'll be killing something pretty shortly.
When the best emotional help I can get is from the sociopath (no offense, Sean), then I begin to feel like I could projectile vomit on someone out of spite.

Probably the nicest comment that had any sort of impact on me at all today was when a friend of a friend, a girl I barely know, said "I don't have a problem with you". This disturbs me. I've been hanging out with friends all day, and that's the best thing I can remember being said to me today?

I hate myself for what I did to him, and I hate that people will continue to talk and rant and rave about it. I don't want to remember it for a reason, but people do love their gossip. I prefer not having the constant reminders and people listening with such great interest as they hear about how I hurt someone so horribly. I feel like I could rip my own arm off, just so the physical pain would outweigh the emotional torment for a while.

Yes, I'm being whiny and stupid; sure, I brought it on myself; no, you needn't bother remembering any of this, because tomorrow I'll likely be rather chipper again and that obviously won't be another layer of lies. Seriously, pay no attention. By tomorrow I'll have forgotten about all this because I'll be too distracted to think about anything other than the life I've destroyed through my careless, self-serving actions.

[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[x] you have been called a blonde.

TOTAL SO FAR: 5


[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL SO FAR: 7


[] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x] You type with three fingers or less.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[x] You are often told to use your 'inside voice.'

TOTAL SO FAR: 14


[] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

TOTAL: 17


[] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[] The word "um" is used frequently.
[] You don't know what "um" means.
[]You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[]you plan to use a calculator to multiply your score

TOTAL: 20

NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 4.
and re-post as: I am___% Mentally ill.
Then tag 10 people to take this quiz after you

I just had an interesting idea... You have a weekly game, yes? Let's say there's two players who both want to play in it, but they can't make it weekly; they can only make it every other week. BUT, they can make the opposite weeks! So you have them play the same character, just different minds of the same character!

The same physical stats/attributes/skills/merits, and everything else identical for the most part, but two minds inhabiting one body, each fighting for control. If the game is episodic, this works well, but if you end a session on a cliff-hanger, even more dramatic! The other player will take control of the character at the next game, suddenly finding themself in the deep end, and will have to try and figure out what's going on without letting the other characters know that they have Multiple Personality Disorder (if they haven't already figured it out).

And perhaps, on those rare occasions when both players are able to make it, you could have them struggling for control the entire game! Have the player who is currently "out" in another room or something (perhaps they could be preparing snacks? :P ), and every minute or so they do a contested roll with the other MPD-Character's player, to see who gets control. Alternately, if your players are good at keeping OOC/IC info separate, they could just be there at the table making a roll every now and then and taking over whenever it's their "turn". Another alternative is to have them on a timer; say, 5 minute intervals between the switches or something?

If you get the two players of the one character at the same game, they could even take joint control as the separated psyches co-operate for a time, or their struggle could be purely roleplayed and each player takes over at an appropriate moment; say, the more peace-loving of the personalities has just come across a corpse, and the shock allows the war-mongerer to take over.

Man, I love this idea! I wanna use it, now! D: Or play in a game where it's used, at least :P

So, my interview with Dendy's went well. I'm just worried that it will have gone even better for more qualified people, and thus this amazing job will be denied to me. Always a chance for it to go either way.

I would be stoked if I got this job. Because Dendy's is awesome. Seriously, they even sell alcohol! :P

Here's hoping I gave the best answers and asked the right questions!

I just got an interview for a management position at Dendy's! HOLY CRAP! Wednesday 11th. Eep. Gotta get my suit drycleaned!

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... could've been more meaningful.

2. I am listening to... the fan circulate air around the room.

3. I talk... when I want to, and I don't talk if I don't want to.

4. I love... to be myself, and to be with the one I choose.

5. My best friend... is usually whoever I'm hanging out with the most.

6. My first real kiss... was nothing I care to remember.

7. Love is... the cure for all the wrong in the world.

8. Marriage is... unnecessary and ritualistically obsolete.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... that they could love a guy like me.

10. I'll always... love you.

11. The last time I really cried was because... everything in my life felt like it was choking me, hard enough to squeeze tears from my eyes and keep me from breathing or saying what was wrong. It was a traumatic experience, but Andrew got me through it.

12. My cell phone... died the last time I tried to send a message.

13. When I wake up in the morning... I refuse to get out of bed until I'm bored of lying down or need to do something.

14. Before I go to bed... I make sure there's nothing left for me to do on the interwebs!

15. Right now I'm thinking about... the grammatical error that once appeared in this sentence.

16. Babies are... vile, disgusting creatures that must be destroyed on sight.

17. I get on Myspace... when the world ends...

18. Today I... got creative! And applied for jobs. I did stuff!

19. Tomorrow I will be... applying for more jobs, and trying to get even more creative!

20. I really want to be... paid for being as awesome as I am. But alas, it seems 'tis not yet to be!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

OMG THREE DAYS!

On Friday, at approximately 2pm, Andrew and I will be leaving to meet up with my parents and little brother up at THE COAST - somewhere. This means that from the 19th to the 27th, I will be without internet and not contactable by phone (as we're going somewhere out of service range, apparently).

Things to do before going:
* Wash clothes
* Pack clothes and other necessary items (toiletries, etc.)
* Transfer money to Shannon so rent can be paid while I'm gone.
* Destroy the world
* Go to Disney World
* Destroy Disney World (unless it turns out to actually be fun!)

And in conclusion: I need food. I'm huuuungry D:

Just finished reading the above-mentioned book. I couldn't put it down for a second when I started reading, and now have an aching neck because I managed to slide into a very uncomfortable position while reading and didn't even notice! That's right, I got so involved in the stories that I had no idea I was almost breaking my neck!

Each story is brilliantly written, self-sufficient, and best of all they're placed in a proper chronological order within the collection, so you're not going "Wait, who the hell is that character?" unless you've just started reading the first page and are already asking silly questions :P I was laughing so hard I cried a number of times (Shannon can testify to this, though I think she was trying to ignore me as much as possible). At one point I felt absolutely compelled to share the brilliant story and its hilarity, so I started reading it out loud - putting on different voices for each character and everything.

If any of these are ever turned into a stage performance of some kind, I must be involved!!!

( Warning, some spoilers. )

In short: BUY A COPY OF THIS BOOK!!! It's so amazingly good I think I may just read it thrice over before going to sleep!

Hey guys, trying to write up a Lust spirit NPC, and considering how many characters here have Know Name, her name won't stay a secret for long at all. She introduces herself as "Miss Bunny", first name "Playboy" :P
But yeah, here's my ideas for her real name, just wanted some help deciding:
"Sates the Instinct"
"Indulges the Instinct"
"Instinctual Desire"
"Beauty of the Beloved" - might end up using this one for another spirit, if not this one...
or "Satisfies the Urges"


If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry. Just help me pick one! :P

So, I built up some good karma today.

Also, I should've worked on this stuff when I had plenty of time. Of course, I didn't have all the necessary tools to do so... but I had enough to get started. So why didn't I? Because I'm a slothful git.

With love,
Maff.

COMMENT HERE AND I WILL:

a) Tell you why I friended you.

b) Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, color, photo, etc.

c) Tell you something I like about you.

d) Tell you a memory I have of you.

e) Ask you something I've wanted to know about you.

f) Tell you my favorite userpic from your list.

g) In return, post this on your own livejournal if you feel like it.

Taken from pretty-Katie!

( References to bad things. Also, lots of nerdy stuff. )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll

This man's wikipedia page is the most hilarious thing I've read all day! The best bits, I think, are from the Criticism section onwards. :P It's great for a laugh.

So apparently I'm an aphrodisiac for other gay guys. Seriously, every time I'm left alone with another gay guy there's so much molestation I feel like they're trying to violate more than just my body. I have no idea what it is, but this result seems to be a near-constant. Unless I detest the guy, I always end up being molested... Luckily, when left alone with someone I detest, I exude an unwelcoming aura that makes them squirm with anxiety, so they can't even begin to think about molesting me :P

Strangely enough, I think this "aphrodisiac aura" of mine also applies to bi-curious guys. Oddly enough, I don't actually know any openly bisexual guys, so I don't know if it applies to them as well...

So, note to Andrew: Don't leave me alone in a room with other gay guys, or I might get raped and you won't be there to witness it. :P

So, I'm doing a lot of work these days. Not just at Pizza Hut (they're finally getting around to giving me the proper training, though, which is good), but also in my personal life.

For those who have not heard, I'm now dating a fine man by the name of Andrew Downing. While some wouldn't count this as work, and in truth I don't either, this relationship is still just beginning and I'm aware that a lot of effort will be going into it. Hopefully from both ends. I get lazy and forgetful sometimes; makes me worry I might not be such a good boyfriend.

Since my previous Vampire character, Jimmy, has been put to Final Death, I am working on a new character. This one is going to be a proper, serious character. Instead of cannon-fodder that managed to survive long enough to develop a personality of his own. No, this new character is going to be carefully thought out before entering play. None of this "Who's your sire?" "Fucked if I know." crap...

Another thing I'm working on, which is definitely a work in progress, is costume for Mainspring. I have my mask (or at least, the necessary pieces, which are still not assembled). I need to figure out what else I should be wearing, as I'm supposed to be dressed in "fashionable attire", but I don't actually know what counts as fashionable in Mainspring. Will need help on this. Stephen offered help, but I think he has different ideas for my costume than I do o.O

And lastly, at least for this report, I'm working on running a game. It's going to be a parallel universe to this one, and basically the magic-fantasy equivalent of Stargate. So, replace the wormhole-connecting rings with huge magic circles that can transport people (of great numbers, even) to other cities, towns or planets. Oh, and remove the secrecy of the Stargate project, because there's kind of no way you could hide a portal to another planet from an entire world of people that can sense magic... Who wants in?!

So, where to begin for this post...?

Well, I've dropped out of Pirates of Penzance, so that I can work on Monday and Thursday nights and take Tuesday nights off... Of course, this may become almost irrelevant anyway, as the manager has been talking about getting me to start earlier in the day, which means I wouldn't be working so late at night after all. Still, I'm sure he'd be happy to hear that I'm now only in one production and will be missing less of work.

Also, I'M TWENTY NOW! OHMIGOD! I'll be getting paid more now, yay! I still haven't had any birthday celebrations apart from attempted-cheesecake-which-turned-into-goo. Oh, and being sung at by the cast of Pirates, but meh.

Found an absolutely AWESOME Chinese restaurant here in Queanbeyan. Will have to drag family and/or friends there at some point, for it is awesome. And strangely enough, it works out cheaper to get stuff delivered instead of eating in... But oh well!

I be le tired. No thinking straight. Not that I ever think "straight" :P Oh ho, so witty...

...

... Yeah, okay, I know, that was absolute fail. Shut up, it's 3am and I'm talking to myself.

Got some brass spray-paint today, and some glue, so that I can do my mask for Mainspring properly. Also need to work on gloves and stuff, and outfit in general...

Brain sleepy too much to think of more. Will maybe do summit later.